What I Learned From The Fairytale, The Scorpion And The Frog, Regarding Ministering To Those With Self-Destructive Behaviors

The Story: One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where she lived and decided that she wanted to cross the river. The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. She couldn't see any way across. So she ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that she might have to turn back.

Suddenly, she saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. She decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream. "Hello Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"

"Well now, Madame. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you won’t try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly. "Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"

Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!" "This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"

"Alright then...how do I know you won’t just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog. "Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"

So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, her sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove her stinger from his back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs. "You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"

The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drowning frog's back. "I could not help myself. Self destruction - It’s my Nature", said the Scorpion. Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.

Many have asked the following question:

How do I handle people who have destructive behaviors like the scorpion and what’s more – how can I enter into a trusting relationship to minister to them?

First you need to understand a few terms – first behavior and second, destructive behavior. Behavior is the way in which somebody responds or acts. Behavior is generally habitual – something that has become common place for the individual. Destructive behavior can be defined as a response or action by an individual that are intended to damage or hurt rather than be helpful or instructive.

Now what does destructive behavior look like. Destructive behavior comes in many shapes and forms. Examples of are: drug/alcohol abuse, spousal abuse, gossiping, bullying, pornography, etc. These behaviors are destructive because they are addictive behaviors which take on a negative life of their own. These addictions consistently call out to these individuals to act out in a self-destructive manner.

The purpose of the Church, like Christ, is to minister to the lost, sick and yes, the self-destructive individuals of the world. When Jesus walked upon the earth, he ministered directly to the bitter, lost and hurting.

In Luke 5:29-31 it says that: ²⁹ Levi made a great feast for him in his house. There was a great crowd of tax collectors and others who were reclining with them. ³⁰ Their scribes and the Pharisees murmured against his disciples, saying, "Why do you eat and drink with the tax collectors and sinners?" ³¹ Jesus answered them, "Those who are healthy have no need for a physician, but those who are sick do. ³² I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."

Jesus wanted the hurting to recognize the wrong in their lives, be sorry for it, and turn to him (and only him) to remove every wrong forever, as their personal savior, from their lives. Jesus knew that repentance was the first step towards a personal walk with Christ and personal healing.

Likewise, we also must come to call not on those who are well, but upon these very people with self-destructive behaviors. Now this does not mean that you are to give the scorpion a ride on your back to get him or her across their rivers (challenges or problems) in life. The scorpion had never taken the first step to making effective change in her life - admitting the destructive behavior, being sorry for her destructive behavior and the need to change her destructive behavior.

It is important to note that without this first step, self-destructive individuals “will” continue their destructive behavior. This first step or repentance is a must. You must realize this in order to effectively minister to someone with self-destructive behavior

Instead you have to be smart and use the talents God has given you to help those with self-destructive behavior cross their respective rivers in life. The frog would have been much better off attaching a rope to a stick or branch and towing the scorpion across the river. This would have presented a win – win situation for the frog and scorpion. This way frog could have effectively ministered to the personal needs of the scorpion in crossing her river.

Likewise, you need to enter into a ministry relationship where you will not fall prey to the destructive behavior of those you are ministering to. When they are willing to recognize the wrong in their lives, be sorry for it, and turn to Jesus to remove every wrong from their lives, as their personal savior. After that first step is taken, be supportive as the individual makes continual progress towards positive change in their life. Help them define what positive change looks like and establish the necessary goals that will bring about continued Christian growth.

Stan Lewis is a Christian Leadership & Life Coach. If you liked this article, you should really explore coaching to increase your personal growth & development by Clicking Here or the various line of Myers-Briggs©, FIRO-B©, STRONG©, & CPI© assessments at www.realcoach.org. He also has awesome freebies on his site. Questions about this article or you need assistance, please call me at 214-629-7217.